What should I being doing for my child?

What should I be doing for my child?

Often, I get asked this question by involved and dedicated parents.  My response has changed over the years!  15 years ago, I would have told parents to get out the math books and do enrichment math, or get ahead, or challenge kids with writing activities, reading the classics, and taking on classes or workshops.  The more, the better!  

Now, I ask:  what is your child doing outside of school?  

Because, usually the child is involved in a plethora of outside sports, enrichment classes, language classes, music classes, or art lessons.  Which, can be a great thing for the child.  

But..now I wonder....and respond:  "does your child have 'down time'? " - a phrase used quite often in our family.  Down time is our children's time to tinker, hang out, maybe play video games, or read, or even watch TV!  We have down time because the rest of the time the boys are doing homework, or skiing, or involved in some hyper intense activity.

I also ask parents:  Does your child read?  Does your child get outside and exercise?  Does your child turn off the technology, and have time away from screens?  This is because I think it is vastly important to not only have "down time" but also time to get away from technology and to interact with real people and real situations in the world.

Above all, parents need to be connected with their kids,  provide time for the family to be together, and finally, provide "space" so that children can relax and be kids.  

I am noticing that more and more parents and children are anxious.  Anxiety is running rampant throughout our highly industrialized and complex society.  This constant worry about "getting ahead" and "providing everything" for our children is not helpful to this young generation.  You and your children have everything you need, and the best gift you can give your child is the ability to relax, enjoy life, and take pleasure in the small things!